


Noble Phantasm

by benit149



Category: Fate/Grand Order
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-09
Updated: 2020-07-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:02:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25157458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benit149/pseuds/benit149
Summary: Follow-up short story to Heartbeat, featuring Connie and Connla Alter once again.
Kudos: 1





	Noble Phantasm

**NOBLE PHANTASM**

AUTHOR’S NOTE: This is a follow-up story to Xela-the-Conqueror’s story arc _Alternate Order: Camelot_ and the follow-up short _Alternate Episode: Connla Alter and Connie_ , both of which take place some time after my previous short _Heartbeat_. I won’t explain much from Xela’s stories, so go read those if you want to understand everything happening here.

Connie (AKA female Connla) belongs to me. Connla, Connla Alter, and Fujimura Ann belong to Skyarmyrecurit1000. Rin Matou belongs to Xela.

\- Benit149

* * *

It had been a week since Rin Matou and her Servants had corrected the alternate Sixth Singularity. Unlike the other incidents though, the conclusion of this event had left a dramatic change on certain Servants – those who were summoned as children had now rapidly aged to that of teenagers or young adults, and no one was sure why. Maria, also known as Jack the Ripper, was a young woman, which perplexed her because she was supposed to be a wraith comprised of unborn babies and thus wasn’t used to being an adult. There was also the nine-year old Sasaki Kojirou, who had become old enough to wield his nodachi Monohoshizao without much issue.

Of course, this change also affected Connie. The seven-year old female version of the Heroic Spirit Connla was now around 17 or 18, and was quite as attractive as her aunt Scathach. She was one of only a handful of child Servants who had never experienced their adulthood years, yet this sudden physical change actually didn’t affect her much. Although Connie was indeed a child, her mind had been artificially enhanced with Runes that her mother Aife placed on her when she was a baby, so in a sense, she already possessed the mind of an adult. This whole rapid aging process wound up being nothing more than a cosmetic change for her.

Instead of worrying about how or why she had become a teenager, Connie’s precociousness led her in a completely different direction – wondering if she could improve in any way as a warrior. Now that she possessed a body fit enough to handle stronger Noble Phantasms, she wanted to explore the new possibilities available to her.

Naturally though, she wasn’t going to push herself to the limit right away. She started by first running dozens upon dozens of laps in the simulator, which emulated a grand track and field stadium. She kept racing against computer-generated opponents who could run at the highest speeds allowable by humans, and she used this to keep track of her new times in 3000 meter races.

Once Connie hit the goal marker, the timer stopped at 8:30.81 minutes. She glanced up at it, then wiped her forehead with a damp towel and murmured, “Phew. Still short of the world record, but not bad.”

She wasn’t using any Runes or other techniques she possessed as a Servant to gain any sort of advantage. Otherwise, her times would be much, _much_ shorter. She strictly wanted to test her newfound physical strength and stamina in comparison with other humans, developing a solid foundation that she could build herself upon. Plus, she had a feeling that a certain someone was going to lecture her about pushing herself too far.

“Are you done yet?” a familiar indigo-armored fellow grumbled. Connla Alter sat upon one of the nearby chairs and watched her performances the entire time. He stood up and shoved a bottle of cold water in her hands while muttering, “You’ve been going at this for six hours already. Give yourself a break already.”

“This is nothing,” Connie told him between pants, then guzzled all of the water down in one go. “I need to get stronger as soon as possible so I can keep up with everyone else. The Singularities and other incidents that everyone has to contend with aren’t going to wait for me to finish my training, so-”

“Spare me. You know perfectly well there are plenty of Servants that the Masters can rely on. It’s not like you’re the only one around here.”

“Well I know, but…” she sighed and looked down despondently. She wasn’t quite used to her feet being a little further away from her vision than usual. “During the Camelot incident, I had to provide support for Louis and Emperor Jimmu against Tristan. I wanted so badly to defeat him with my Noble Phantasm so that the others would be safe, but I just couldn’t. If I had kept going, I would have died for sure.”

He raised an eyebrow, then asked, “Now that you mention it, I actually don’t know what your Noble Phantasm does, or even where you came up with it.”

“Laoch Gan Finsceal, or _Hero Without Legend_ … I devised it as a way for me to not reveal my True Name, since there’s the geas of us not being allowed to say our name to anyone. Yet a Noble Phantasm inherently reveals the user’s True Name, so it was a massive hurdle I had to overcome when I was summoned to the Nevada Singularity.”

“Nevada Singularity?” Connla Alter wondered.

“Oh,” Connie’s eyes widened when she realized he didn’t know what she was talking about. “I guess I haven’t had the chance to explain to you. That was an incident in a completely separate world where I had been summoned as a Servant for the very first time ever.”

“Sounds like a doozy.”

“It is. Perhaps I should tell you while we have something to eat.”

They left the simulator, and Connla Alter shifted into spirit form so that his presence wouldn’t alarm anyone else. He followed Connie as an invisible presence to the cafeteria, and she got some food for both of them. She brought it to her room, and once she closed the door, her brother returned to physical form. As they ate, he listened to her story about the Nevada Singularity – the incident that got her recorded in the Throne of Heroes.

After Connie finished her explanation, Connla Alter sighed deeply and narrowed his eyes. After a distinct pause, she tilted her head and asked, “Is something wrong?”

“Let me get this straight,” he demanded and folded his arms. “You’re telling me that you, in your kid form, took on the Alter version of our old man?”

“Yeah. He was the enemy of the world at the time. I was specifically summoned to stop him, although that’s not the entire story.”

“In order to kill him though, you had to use Gae Bolg? Laoch Gan Finsceal wasn’t enough for the job?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Even though you’re not experienced enough to use it, you did it anyway?”

“What choice did I have? He broke my regular weapon the same way your previous incarnation did, and I needed a replacement right away.”

Connla Alter suddenly smacked his palm against the table. “Are you insane!? Where do you get off using Noble Phantasms that you’re not capable of handling!? With your lack of training, you couldn’t have possibly survived it!”

“Well…” Connie mumbled sheepishly. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to tell him, but she was sure he would pressure her into talking anyway. She reluctantly said, “I’m not sure if it ‘killed’ me or not, but after hurling it at Father’s heart, the force was so intense that I lost my right arm. It could have been either from the extreme strain or the severe loss of blood, but I died shortly afterwards alongside Father. That crisis was resolved thanks to my efforts though, so whenever I feel like the odds are completely stacked against me, I try to remember that time and-”

**_SLAM!_ **

Connla Alter pounded his fist against the wall. The sudden noise forced Connie to stop speaking in mid-sentence. She already had a good idea that he was deeply upset by her nonchalant attitude towards risking her own life. At the same time, he didn’t want to lecture her. Both of them knew they were Servants; temporary entities that existed to serve as living weapons for their Masters. The life of a Servant was supposed to be short, so they could take tremendous risks without much concern.

Connla Alter exhaled a flabbergasted grunt, then started to saunter out of Connie’s room while muttering, “I’m gonna have a word with the old man.”

“You better not,” she stopped him.

“Why?”

“Our Cuchulainn Alter isn’t going to know what you’re talking about. Knowing him, he’ll just dismiss you as some kind of basket case.”

“So you haven’t told him about it whatsoever?”

“What point would it serve for him to know? It’d just cause him unnecessary pain if he knew he caused so much trouble for me in an alternate world. I know he and I aren’t particularly close in this world, but I’m sure he worries about me somewhat since I’m a bizarre interpretation of his ‘son’.”

“Tch. There’s your bad habit again. Always hiding things so that everyone else feels better, even if it means living in a hell of your own making…”

“Relax, I’m used to it by now,” Connie urged him. “If it gets too difficult for me, there’s plenty of people I can talk to throughout Chaldea. Of course, that includes you.”

Connla Alter became silent again. He reflected on what his sister said, then glanced back at her and grumbled, “Fine, I won’t talk about it with the old man. That should be your problem anyway, not mine.”

“Of course.”

“Just one thing though.”

“Yes?”

His shining ruby eyes, sharp with clear consternation, made direct contact with her soft brown irises.

“Don’t call yourself a ‘bizarre interpretation’. No matter how different you may be to me and the other Connla, you’re still Connla yourself. Don’t you bloody forget it.”

Connie grimaced, swallowed hard, and squeaked, “Uh… Y-Yeah…”

“Good. I’m gonna peace out for now. If I catch you sneaking in any grueling training sessions without my permission, you’re going to get an earful.”

“Sure…” she murmured, watching her easily-irritated sibling leave.

* * *

Three days later, Connie had spent enough time resting that she felt wholly refreshed for another training session. This time though, she didn’t want to spend the day running laps in the simulator. Thanks to her chat with Connla Alter, she thought long and hard about what she could do to get stronger, and an idea soon came to her. She wanted to consult with Connla Lancer, her original older brother, and get his opinion on the matter first before trying anything drastic though.

After she explained to him what she had in mind, Connla blurted, “Eh? You want to try throwing Gae Bolg a different way?”

“That’s right,” Connie said. “Specifically, I want to try with my legs.”

“Throwing with your legs… Kind of sounds radical on paper, but you and I know that Scathach could pull that off with her eyes closed. Did you get the idea from her?”

“Sort of. I also thought about how I couldn’t do it with my arm in the Nevada Singularity, and became afraid that it would happen again even if I tried now. Then I realized that due to my EX-rank in agility, all of the running I’ve been doing should have strengthened my legs so much that they could handle far more weight than my arms can. I haven’t really taken a chance to test the theory yet because I wanted your input first.”

“But I’ve been showing you everything that you need to know about using Gae Bolg,” Connla said and showed her his version of the legendary weapon. Since he was a young adult who had spent far more time training in the Land of Shadows than Connie did in her timeline, Connla was thus vastly more experienced with using it. He shouldered the spear, then continued, “You’re not a child anymore either. With some more training, you should be able to do it normally.”

“What if this transformation is only temporary? What if I revert back to my original age just as suddenly?”

He frowned hard. He really didn’t have an answer to that argument. She continued, “I need to be ready for any sort of extenuating circumstances. Who knows? Maybe this whole aging-up process is actually a trap set by the enemy. Have us child Servants train in these new bodies, then rob that power away when we need it during a crucial moment, thereby stymieing the Masters and causing them further stress.”

Connla chuckled nervously. “I think you’re taking this a little too seriously. Can’t you just enjoy looking the gift horse in the mouth just this once?”

“Not at all! If there’s an unknown factor at play here, I’d be a fool to just rely on it without any forethought! Strength may be important, but so is information! If I don’t have any proof that this change is permanent, then I’m going to pretend that I’m still in my child body! In that sense, throwing Gae Bolg with my legs makes much more sense!”

“Man,” the older Lancer huffed and scratched the back of his head. “Kind of hard to say no after hearing that. I can’t say I have any personal experience with using Gae Bolg so differently though, so I couldn’t help you there. You’d have to figure it out on your own.”

“I know. You’ve taught me the theory, so I just need a lot of practice, that’s all,” Connie assured. “Could you give me your Gae Bolg so I can give it a try in the simulator?”

“Sure thing,” he said and handed the weapon to her. “Be careful, though. If you use it recklessly, it could wind up biting you in the ass. I can die as many times as I want, but if you die even once, you aren’t coming back so easily. Better ask my Alter version to go with you just to be safe.”

“Eh? Why him?”

“Come on, have you forgotten what I taught you about the paradox surrounding Gae Bolg?”

Her eyes lit up with realization, and she yelped, “Oh, you’re right! I should go get him!”

Connie ran off with Gae Bolg in her hands, and Connla smirked, “Well, she’s certainly energetic.”

* * *

Soon after, Connie found Connla Alter lounging around in the recreation room while watching a movie, but he was utterly bored out of his mind. Due to his precarious violent streak, he wasn’t popular with the majority of the other Servants, plus he was temporarily banned from using the training simulator after an incident he caused. All he could do was pass the time and eagerly wait for the moment he could go back in and cause as much chaos and mayhem as he wanted. Upon seeing Connie though, his boredom vanished as he listened to her request.

After she finished explaining, his eyes became dull with sarcasm as he muttered, “Are you serious?”

“Am I the type to ever joke around?” she retorted.

“No, but you could stand to have a sense of humor.”

“If mine is bad, then yours is worse. You get grumpy when I do anything risky without your permission, yet when I ask you, you get grumpy anyway.”

“Heh. That’s quite the spine you got there, missy. Once I get Rin’s blessing to use the training room, I’ll have to put you through the wringer for your impudent attitude.”

“Ugh, stop trying to distract me!” Connie shouted. Their talk sounded violent on the surface, but he was just picking on her like any older brother would with his younger sister. “Look, I just need you as a safeguard in case anything goes wrong! Or would you prefer if I asked any of the Cus instead?”

“Nah, I’ll go with you. Helps to kill the time at least,” Connla Alter said and stood up. His height towered over hers, and he leaned in close before asking, “Are you sure about this? No regrets?”

“Anything I do, I do without looking back.”

“Good stuff. At least your determination is something I can get behind. Still, best to have one of the Masters and a healer on standby just in case.”

“Come on, give me a break already…”

* * *

Despite Connie’s objection, Connla Alter spent the next while scouring Chaldea until he found Waver, who was studying in the library. Since Rin was busy dealing with an incident, he agreed to oversee Connie’s training session. As for the healer, Alter wasn’t particularly fond of Ann Fujimaru, who was the Pseudo-Servant for Florence Nightingale, but he had first-hand experience with her brutal brand of medical care and knew how effective it was. Although it was a living nightmare to endure one of her treatments, he was certain it would work for Connie should an emergency happen to her.

With the small team assembled, they headed for the simulator. Waver and Ann operated the controls to generate a large tree that Connie could use as a target. Connla Alter kept to the far corner and watched his sister get ready to practice. The female Lancer grew nervous as she stared at Gae Bolg in her hands. Memories of her battle against Curruid flooded her mind. She couldn’t forget how excruciating it was to activate Gae Bolg’s power, and she was somewhat afraid of it happening all over again. She took deep breaths over and over again to compose herself.

_Calm down. That was a spur-of-the-moment decision. I’ve had plenty of time to learn under Brother’s tutelage since then. It’s going to be fine…_

Connie inhaled sharply, then flipped the spear in her hands so that she could lithely launch it off the ground with her toes. It spun wildly in midair, then stopped in place as a crimson aura flared around it. She generated some platform Runes to gain momentum, then bore upon Gae Bolg and brought her right leg over her torso while clasping the spear with her toes.

_Got it! Now focus! Imagine being one with the curse! Channel your energy, direct it into the spear, and-!_

Her leg silently shrieked in pain. She was determined to see her experiment through though, so she did her best to ignore it. Dealing with pain was nothing special to her. Pain and agony were part of her daily life growing up. If she couldn’t overcome something as simple as this…

“Gh! Ah… Just… a little more…!” she gasped.

Connla Alter was not the type of man to feel fear, but the moment he saw drips of blood hit the floor, his heart leapt erratically. The dreadful sensation of his chest hollowing out in horror gripped his senses, and he thoughtlessly hurried over to his sister. Connie didn’t know it, but she had generated so much energy around Gae Bolg that not even someone as trained as Scathach could hope to control it. The reversal of cause and effect didn’t matter here since the built-up power would just cause indiscriminate destruction anyway. The lance would see anyone, enemy or ally, as a target to destroy.

Connie couldn’t hold it in anymore. Her leg muscles were exploding in gruesome gushes of blood. She had to let out the worst scream of her life.

“Ahhh… AAAAAH!? **_WaaaAAaaAAAAaaaAAAAAaaaaaAAAAAHH!?_** ”

 _“That’s enough! Stop it!”_ Connla Alter shouted at the top of his lungs. He ran up to Connie while withdrawing his own Gae Bolg, knowing that hers was going to go ballistic unless he did something to counter it. His spear flared bright red as he prepared his Noble Phantasm.

Waver’s eyes widened as he wondered, _What is he doing?_

“Snap out of it, Waver!” Ann barked. “Use a Command Spell to make her stop!”

“R-Right!” the Master yelped, then raised his hand with the sigil etched on it and commanded, “By the power of my Command Spell, cease using your Noble Phantasm immediately, Connie!”

A charge was used up, and the order coursed through Connie’s Spirit Origin. Her body froze up, and she fell back-first upon the ground. With nothing to propel its course, her Gae Bolg went crashing all over the place and wrecking havoc upon the simulation room. The out-of-control spear turned itself at Connie on an unintentional path toward her head. All she could do was stare in abject shock at the weapon as it approached. Suddenly, Connla Alter’s large figure dashed in front of her.

**_“Gae Bolg!”_ **

He hurled his charged lance straight at Connie’s Gae Bolg. Just then, a tremendously deafening sound pierced everyone’s ears, as if a million glass panes were being smashed all at once. Crimson light overwhelmed their vision for a few seconds. When the cacophony settled and the light dimmed, everyone discovered both Gae Bolgs lying on opposite sides of the training room.

“Dammit… Made it just in time…” Connla Alter gasped and wiped some sweat off his forehead.

Waver and Ann ran out of the control room, and the former yelled, “Are you both okay!?”

Connla Alter was about to reply that he was fine, but then they heard a bizarre high-pitched squealing from nearby. They glanced over in shock as they saw Connie lying on her side and holding her leg, looking to be in visible distress as she gasped and howled in agony. Ann tore off the portion of her bodysuit covering that limb after seeing that a large amount of blood had seeped through the fabric. To everyone’s shock, elongated sores had spontaneously opened up and bled profusely.

“Haaaah!? _M-M-My leg… hurts… so bad!_ ” Connie screeched desperately. Tears flowed down her cheeks, indicating just how absolutely horrific the pain was.

Connla Alter was already kneeling by her side, and he uncharacteristically yelped, “What’s the matter!?”

“Heeeek… I-It’s… tearing apart! It’s like someone… grabbed my muscles… and is pulling them apart! _Oh god, it hurts! **Cut it off already! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! YAAAAAH!**_ ”

Ann told Waver, “Get the Cus and any healers on standby in here pronto!”

“I’m on it!” the flustered Master replied and rushed to the intercom to make the call. While they were waiting, Ann used her healing skills to repair Connie’s leg as best as she could, but she knew it would only be a temporary fix until the more proficient healers could intervene. Connla Alter was so stunned that all he could do was hold Connie’s hand and rest her head against his chest to keep her calm. It wasn’t even two minutes before Cuchulainn Lancer, Caster and Alter hurried in to see what was going on.

“What the hell is this!?” Cu Lancer shouted.

Caster kneeled next to Ann and assisted with the healing. After taking a quick look at Connie’s leg, then noticing the two Gae Bolgs lying nearby, he wondered aloud, “Did she just try to throw Gae Bolg with her feet!?”

“So it would seem,” Cu Alter said, keeping his composure yet clearly looking flustered as well. “Damn it, what the hell were you thinking, kid? Even if you were aged to a teenager, you know you can’t wield Gae Bolg yet.”

“But…” Connie gasped. The pain had subsided enough that she could rationally speak, but it took a lot of effort just to say a few words. “I thought… if I could use my legs… like how Teacher did…”

“So you got the idea from Scathach, huh?”

“Ungh… I-I did…”

“Let me guess – you wanted to develop the technique as quickly as possible so you wouldn’t slow the rest of us down, right?”

“Uuuuh…” Connie whimpered pathetically. Cu Alter had correctly voiced her intentions, so she felt especially embarrassed about it. She then sniffled a little and moaned, “Why? Why can’t I use Gae Bolg… even when I’ve been aged like this? I just don’t understand…”

Cu Caster implored, “That’s enough. You’re wasting your energy crying. Just calm down and relax.”

Even though he told her to stop, she covered her face with her hand and kept on sobbing anyway. While everyone else was busy either consoling or healing her, Connla Alter could do nothing but sit there and hold her quivering hand. He was totally at a loss about what to say that could make her feel better. Eventually, Irisviel arrived with a wheelchair for Connie to ride in back to the medical bay. The exhausted teenager held her head low and stared at her battered leg despondently. Cu Caster, Cu Lancer and Ann accompanied her, while the others remained behind to clean up the bloody mess.

Even though Waver was concerned about Connie, something else had piqued his curiosity. He looked over at Connla Alter and said, “It’s a miracle you somehow managed to stop her Noble Phantasm before it could cause any damage. But how exactly did you do it?”

The Alter Ego scoffed, “Isn’t it obvious? I used Gae Bolg against Gae Bolg.”

“Identical Noble Phantasms? Wait a minute… Gae Bolg is supposed to reverse cause and effect so that the target’s heart is pierced before the spear user even throws the weapon. So if another Gae Bolg is used as the counterattack, that would mean…”

“Both Noble Phantasms guarantee death, and there’s no way to avoid it. However, to have two Gae Bolgs go against each other would cause an irresistible force paradox to occur.”

“An irresistible force paradox?”

Cu Alter said, “Think of it like the sword and shield paradox. The sword can cut through anything, while the shield can guard against everything. What do you think would happen if the two were to clash?”

Waver paused, then shook his head and murmured, “I don’t know.”

“Hmph. Exactly the point,” Connla Alter grinned. “Scathach tried to explain it to me one time while I was training under her, but hell if I can remember the details. Basically, two identical curses will be forced to ‘resign’ from the ‘duel’, thus canceling each other out. Luckily, Connie’s Gae Bolg was not able to perfect the reversal of cause and effect, but its trajectory was thrown so completely off course that I had no choice but to use mine. It was probably good luck that hers was weaker in comparison, so I was able to easily overwhelm it with a combination of the paradox plus brute force.”

“I see. You just averted a total disaster, so I have to thank you for that.”

“Spare me. I don’t give a shit about being appreciated. I just saw that it was going to kill Connie, so I took action. That’s what fellow Servants of Chaldea are supposed to do for each other, right?”

Waver smiled and asked, “Would you have done the same if a different Servant was in trouble?”

“Tch… I doubt anyone would like it if I intervened. Many of your Servants are too damn proud to accept help from a monster like me.”

“So you’d only do it for Connie then.”

“Are you making fun of me? If you are, I won’t hesitate to gut you.”

“Come on, can’t you take a joke?”

“Sure I can. Just not the bad ones.”

As Waver and Connla Alter exchanged such quips, Cu Alter simply stood there and observed his corrupted son in silence. He then shifted his eyes down to the bloody towels in his hands - or perhaps more appropriately, the towels stained with his daughter’s blood. He closed his eyes and sighed to himself. Although the memory was faint, he knew he had seen Connie bleed herself to death somewhere else. Cu Alter didn’t want to recall such a ghastly memory whatsoever, but the stained towels forced those repressed thoughts back to the surface, clearer than ever before.

_Damn it…_

* * *

For the next four days, Ann and Irisviel took turns treating Connie’s injured leg. It was in an especially rough state for the first day, but by the third day, her condition greatly improved after getting plenty of rest as well as a Command Spell from Waver for additional treatment. Cuchulainn Lancer and Cuchulainn Caster remained with her to provide emotional support, yet they were unable to answer the one question that kept plaguing her:

Why couldn’t she use Gae Bolg?

Connla Lancer and Connla Alter could use it just fine. What made Connie so different from her brothers? She _knew_ she did everything correctly! As far as she knew, she should have executed the Noble Phantasm just fine! So then, why did she lose control of it? Why did her body always break down whenever she tried to activate Gae Bolg’s curse? Pondering these questions made her virtually inconsolable, and with good reason – both Laoch Gan Finsceal and Gae Bolg were Noble Phantasms that could potentially kill her. How could a Servant be useful to her Masters if her strongest attacks were too risky for her to use?

As Connie was lost in another crying fit, Cu Lancer rested his hand on her shoulder and murmured, “C’mon, that’s enough already.”

“But if I can’t use a Noble Phantasm, then what good am I as a Servant!? At this rate, I’m just wasting space in Chaldea!”

“That’s not true! You’re not just here as a fighter! Have you forgotten how smart you are!? If the Masters need a set of bright minds to brainstorm through a problem, you’re one of the first Servants they think of!”

“That’s not enough! I have to be able to do anything at a moment’s notice, whether it’s fighting, thinking, or whatever else they command me to! Intellect alone won’t save my Master when an enemy is bearing arms against them!”

“That’s why large teams of Servants are deployed. Your mistake is that you think you have to do everything by yourself. That’s not the case whatsoever here. The Masters rely on all of us for our variety of talents.”

Connie lowered her head in shame. “Then… what is mine?”

Cu Lancer couldn’t answer her so easily. Sensing this uneasy silence, Cu Caster replied, “That’s not for us to tell you. If you’re that bent out of shape about it, then you should do some serious soul searching first. We could tell you a million times over what your capabilities are, but if you keep on beating yourself up like this each time you fall off your proverbial horse, then no amount of consolation is going to help you. It may sound harsh, but you need to figure this one out yourself.”

She looked up at the hooded druid. After a pause that felt like an eternity, she wiped her eyes and murmured, “Yeah… I guess you’re right.”

“That’s the Connie I know,” Caster smiled. “Take your time and figure it out slowly. That’s one thing you’re good at doing, isn’t it?”

“Mm.”

Lancer asked, “Have you calmed down? If so, then I suggest you relax for a while. Ann said that you’ll be able to walk again by tomorrow, but that you can’t do anything strenuous until she gives the okay. Just do what she says and you’ll be better in no time.”

Connie nodded. With that, the two Cuchulainns departed to let her get some sleep. She sat there for a short while thinking about what Cu Caster told her. Although it was easy to say she should take a deeper look at herself, actually doing so was much too complex for someone as logical as her to comprehend. If she had any hope of finding a solution to her problem, she first needed hard facts that she could analyze. The trouble was, where could she start looking for information about herself? If she asked everyone around her, she was afraid that they would only give subjective opinions rather than hard evidence.

_Oh dear… This is going to be a lot harder than Caster makes it sound…_

As Connie pondered, she heard the infirmary door slide open. Connla Alter entered and approached his sister while asking, “How’s the leg doin’?”

“Luckily, I don’t need to have it amputated,” she told him. “Miss Ann said that my leg muscles were strong enough to handle the stress.”

“Looks like your theory wasn’t entirely wrong then. Still, probably better that you don’t try that again.”

Connie pressed her fingers against her forehead and sighed, “Oh, this is so frustrating. Until I figure out how to channel Gae Bolg’s power, I have to continue using Laoch Gan Finsceal. It’s just that even after I’ve become an adult, there’s still a hard limit to how many lost souls I can take into my body before I begin deteriorating. I really, _really_ wish I could figure out how to use Gae Bolg. If not, then I can’t hope to catch up to Kojirou’s level. He has a major kill under his belt after he destroyed Poseidon, so I feel like I need to do the same to be an even match with him.”

Connla Alter frowned, then sat next to her bed. His expression was grim as he said, “I had a feeling you’d be worrying yourself sick about it, so I took the liberty of having a chat with Cu Alter about it.”

“You did?”

“It was kind of hard to talk to him since he’s so bloody unapproachable.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Quiet you. The point is that I managed to get some info out of him that you might find useful.”

Connie’s expression turned hopeful. “Really? Did he say anything?”

“Well…”

* * *

_Three days ago…_

Connla Alter stood in front of Cu Alter’s room, clearly looking too hesitant to knock on the door and speak with his father. A bead of sweat rolled down his cheek, and his clenched fist quivered slightly.

_Son of a bitch, get your act together, dumbass. If Connie doesn’t want to talk to the old man, then I have to do it for her. Suck it up and get it over with already!_

Despite his self-encouragement, he remained rooted to the spot. Before he could do anything though, the door whirred open to reveal Cu Alter on the other side, who glared darkly at his son. He scowled, “What do you want, boy? You’ve been standing there like a total idiot for ten whole minutes.”

“S-Shut up,” Connla Alter snapped.

“You got something to tell me? Then get your shit together and talk already. I was about to take a nap, but I sensed your presence and waited to see what you would do. If you keep this up, you’re going to drive me crazy. If you don’t want to be skewered for interrupting my quiet time, then start talking.”

Although the Alter Ego wanted to talk smack to his Berserker father, he kept his insults in check. He stepped into the room, then muttered, “Ugh… Actually, there’s something I wanted to mention to you.”

“What?”

“Did you know that, in a completely different world, you and Connie fought each other as enemies?”

The older warrior’s lips thinned and his eyes narrowed. “Where did you hear something so ridiculous?”

“From Connie herself.”

“Is that right?”

“Apparently, her memory of that strange Singularity is so strong that she remembers every detail vividly.”

“She never mentioned anything about it to me.”

The Alter Ego scoffed. “Of course she wouldn’t. She said you’d have no idea what she was talking about.”

Cu Alter glanced away from his son. “I see. From her perspective, she’d probably think she was speaking total nonsense to me. Well, guess I can’t blame her. If I randomly went up to her and said I knew everything too, she’d completely freak out.”

“What!?” Connla Alter yelped. “You mean-!?”

“Yep. I know about the Nevada Singularity too. Or rather, it’s more like bits and pieces of someone else’s memories wormed their way into my mind ever since Connie was summoned. I guess those memories belong to my counterpart from that world.”

“You’re kidding…”

“My guess is that even though he doesn’t exist anymore, he probably still wants his other versions to understand what happened. That must be why I keep my distance from her – my presence would stir up some unpleasant memories for her. I want her to enjoy her time here without being burdened by the weight of that incident. If she sees me too much, she may wind up being frightened of me, and that’d be no good if we had to fight an enemy together. It’s best that we strictly see each other as allies, and nothing more.”

“Shit,” Connla Alter grunted and began to storm out of the room. “I’ve had enough of you dancing around the issue. If you’re going to do shit-all as a father, then I’ll just have to work harder to be the brother she can look up to.”

“Fine with me. Parenting ain’t exactly my strong suit anyway. Before you go though, I want you to give the kid some advice on my behalf.”

The younger man glanced at his father. “What is it?”

* * *

_The present…_

Connie listened to her brother’s story, then lowered her head and whispered, “So Cu Alter knows too…”

“Sure looks like it,” Connla Alter muttered, then let out a sigh of exasperation. “God, all of this secrecy is driving me insane. Why can’t you just be straightforward with each other and get it out of the way?”

“In due time. I think it’s too soon for that conversation though. There’s so much dirty laundry that I need to sort through that I’m practically going crazy from it all.”

He smirked a little. “No shit. I guess reconciling with the old man will have to wait on the back burner while you figure out this business with your Noble Phantasm.”

“Yeah. I’m still confused about why I failed at using Gae Bolg. I have all the knowledge and tools needed, and yet-“

“Actually, the old man told me something that you might find interesting. From the way he was talking, he seems to know what the deal is.”

“Does he!?” she yelped in anticipation. “What did he say!?”

“Well, it’s kind of hard for me to understand since I wasn’t there, but he remembers seeing you use Gae Bolg during the Singularity. He especially recalls how your body rejected the spear’s power.”

“I remember that too. My arm muscles were literally destroyed from the inside out. I thought for sure that Gae Bolg’s power was just too immense for me to handle due to my age.”

“He doesn’t seem to think so.”

“Eh?”

“He thinks you’ve got it backwards. It’s not Gae Bolg that’s rejecting you – it’s your own body that is afraid of it.”

Connie’s eyes widened in astonishment. Connla Alter continued, “He believes that because you were killed by Gae Bolg while you were alive, your Spirit Origin has thus developed a natural resistance, or perhaps a subconscious fear of the weapon. So when you try to wield Gae Bolg, your body is actually begging you to stop using it out of terror, and will break apart on its own as a warning to you. At least, that’s what the old man’s theory is.”

She became silent. Never in her wildest dreams had she ever considered such an outrageous possibility.

“Shocking, ain’t it?” the Alter Ego muttered. “It means that no matter how much you try to use Gae Bolg, it will be futile so long as your Spirit Origin is afraid of it.”

“I see…” the Lancer whispered. “Maybe… Maybe that makes total sense. I mean, I can still remember it heading straight for my chest… and the indescribable pain that followed afterward. Even as a Servant, I sometimes still feel a dull pain where it pierced me…”

Connla Alter folded his arms. “We’re both derived from the same Heroic Spirit, so I know exactly what you mean.”

“But I still don’t understand something – what makes me so different from you and Brother? Both of you must not be afraid of Gae Bolg to be able to wield it so efficiently. Does this mean I’m too much of a coward to overcome such a subconscious fear?”

“Coward? Have you got your head screwed on backwards or something? You might be meek, subservient and a crybaby, but you are the furthest thing from a coward I’ve ever seen. Knowing you, something else is going on.”

“Like what?”

He inhaled deeply, then muttered, “I know this will sound crazy, but just hear me out for a sec. Given your soft-hearted personality, my guess is that you don’t want to rely on the weapon that killed you… simply because you’re afraid of subjecting others to that same torture.”

Once he said that, it felt like the whole world around them fell into an abyssal silence. Connie sat there, still as a statue, staring at her brother with a vapid expression that betrayed nothing about what she was thinking. He returned her gaze with an equally empty expression. Eventually, he murmured, “What do you think?”

She blinked a few times, then whispered, “You may be right…”

“Feh. Guess I gave you a little too much to think about.”

“It’s okay. Cu Caster said I needed to do some soul searching. I think you’ve given me a vital clue that I can use.”

“Is that so? If it helps, then whatever,” Connla Alter said as he got back up. “I better bust on out of here. If I keep talking, I might wind up overwhelming you.”

“Mm.”

Without another word, he left his sister so she could get her rest. She laid her head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling while thinking about his suggestion. She pictured the moment when Gae Bolg pierced her chest… or perhaps, those horrifying split seconds as she watched the crimson spear shoot straight for her heart. She remembered the hopelessness of being unable to dodge one of the world’s most powerful weapons. That was also the instant she knew that Aife had lied to her; everything she had done while raising her was in preparation for that one moment, when Aife could subject Cuchulainn to the horror of killing his own child.

In a way, Gae Bolg seemed to represent Connie’s own despair of being forsaken by both of her parents.

How could she just turn around and use such an unforgiving attack on someone else? She just couldn’t do it. She would understand her opponent’s pain too much. She wasn’t someone who loved combat like Cu Lancer or Connla Lancer, nor was she a bloodthirsty killer like Cu Alter or Connla Alter. The only reason Connie fought was strictly so that she and/or her allies could survive against powerful enemies. She didn’t find joy in duels or contests of strength, and she certainly didn’t have the mindset to instigate fights herself. All of that perhaps culminated in her subconscious hatred for Gae Bolg, a weapon that was supposed to guarantee death. If that hatred clashed with the spear’s curse, then it was no wonder her body would break down.

Thus, as Connie closed her eyes to get some sleep, a bitter thought crossed her mind:

_There’s no choice. I have to give up on using Gae Bolg and think of something new._

* * *

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Hope you liked it. I may have something in store as a sequel that I had hoped to add here, but this short has run on long enough. I’ll have to do some brainstorming, but I’m sure I’ll come up with something since I’m not a fan of unresolved cliffhanger endings like this. Until then, enjoy _Lunasa Fomhar_ and see you next time!


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